But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
