It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
