Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
