you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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