hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
