Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
