I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
