he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
