respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
