I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
