Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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