mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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