Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My bed smells like the plague
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
