someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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