Dual....:-)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
