Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
