3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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