Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
