that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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