we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
