There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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