i barfeds in our rink
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
