I hate your face
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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