i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
