just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
