True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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