No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
