I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dick very happy bro
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
