Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
