I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
