so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
