Your tits are I can't wait for
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
