Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
