I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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