The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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