Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
