i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I need water and some morals
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
