I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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