I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
