**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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