I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Alive.
So much puke
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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