Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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