Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
