He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
