you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
