So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
