there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
