yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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