those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We just shotgunned beers for America
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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