So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
