i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
